that damn eye twitch

For about a month and a half, I have been experiencing an eye twitch. My left eyelid flutters rapidly and although only Pickle can detect it when I point it out, it is so distracting! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I'm sick of the flutter twitch, slightly impairing my vision!!!!! Talking to my boss yesterday, I was CONVINCED she was just sitting there watching it. I have been wearing my glasses non-stop for all reading and computer-ing, but it just won't go away!

I went ahead and did some research (finally) yesterday. This is a very common problem. Especially for accountants during tax season. The only cause: stress and fatigue. The only solution: rest and relaxation. Huh. Well now the thing is, I don't feeeel particularly stressed. Sure, I am working at a somewhat trying job, high pressure with regard to the big money clients, but seems standard for the ad industry. I am ready to apply to my nursing schools, but first I must complete some pre-requisite courses. Which I have selected at 3 CUNY (City of NY) schools that have night classes in Brooklyn. Very close to our neighborhood. Really not toio big of a deal since it seems I just have to wait and be accepted to one of those of at this point. Going on my way. My body has gotten used to 6am doggy wake-up calls and therefore we go to bed by 10 at the latest. Well, except for Top Chef nights. Then 11. But still, the things they suggested were meditation, massage, and yoga. Yuck. I hate those things. Well, not massage, but I don't have the money for that and to be honest, I think that my back is too effed up and tight, it would take a million sessions to make any progress. I thought of a pedicure, but after last summers toe Plantar's wart fiasco, I am scared to put my feet in anything that strangers have also soaked their dirty, infested feet with. Once again, too expensive even if I didn't have this new phobia.

So there you have it. I am on a quest to relax this weekend because I really don't know how I can go on any longer with this goddamn fluttering eyelid! There it goes again...

Blood drawn on morning commute. Totally grossed out by possibilites of bacteria underneath fingernails.

I hate my morning commute with a passion. Today, however, it reached an entirely new level of atrociousness when I was scratched. By someone else other than myself. Who drew blood and did not even notice.

I got on my second train and it was very crowded, but I was determined to not let it get to me and to ignore the situation by reading. I was minding my own business with a perfectly positioned hand on a pole between two other hands listening to my ipod and reading my book The Hidden Life of Dogs (which I highly recommend...I just got to the part about the pugs!) when an older, rotund Asian woman comes barrelling through the crowded train because she sees someone she knows. Upon her arrival, she grabs for the pole in the exact same spot that my hand is on. Her long, sharp, pointy, dagger nails scratch my hand. It startles me and I actually (though I didn't mean to) say "ouch!" I notice the scratch starts bleeding. I look around frantically for any other witnesses, but am at a loss. The woman and her friend start speaking a language that I can't understand, but can definitely HEAR through my headphones. She does not notice my hand, me, that she hurt me, that I said "ouch!" or that she MADE ME BLEED. They chat all the way until the next stop where they get off. I'm still fuming. I can't even begin to try and think about the varying diseases and bacteria that could have been trapped under her fingernail that have now been transfered to ME.

Other than that, we had an amazing weekend. My sister's shower went really well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Plus, I think she was pleasantly surprised. Especially, in terms of the "games" I forced everyone to play. My parents took us out to many dinners that we could not otherwise afford. I got to see XANADU, my favorite Broadway show now, and favorite movie (I have a very, very strong attachment to Olivia Newton-John's and Gene Kelly's cinematic roller-skating musical masterpiece...um, even that could be an understatement) and Olive finally got to meet her grandparents!

get me out of here!

I'm sick of feeling unfulfilled and being talked down to. Making plans for the future is my only hope. So, I am looking into nursing programs for May 2008 start. Only the ones with combined BS/MS Nursing degrees, which are generally geared towards someone with a BA in something other than nursing, like myself. Since I already have my BA, I do not want to go for another BA or BS in Nursing, or even an Associate Degree, since I feel like it would be a step backwards, or a repeat performance, so there are about 6 programs in NYC that are designed for people like me! Yay.

The tricky part is getting the necessary pre-requsite classes that I avoided at Smith. Math and science, generally. And, for the life of me, I can't figure out why I didn't just take one goddamn intro to pysch course while at that beauty of a school! The main deterrent was failing my first year Bio course, so then decided to run as far away from Math and Science as possible into the arms of Art Studio! You see, I'm quite good at Math and I think it is absolutely bonkers that my AP Calc, Calc 2 and whatever else I had taken senior year of high school and first year of college (which I did PASS) can't count as equivalency of the skills for basic statistcs. It also feels a little backwards. I know, I know. It is very different, but not totally applicable and necessary to future nursing knowledge, if you ask me...but what do I know!

My favorite thing about the new apartment...

Butterscotch sundaes with extra peanuts and chocolate concoctions (for Pickle) from Mister Softee, who stops in the middle of our new block every night a little past 10pm. It is usually a challenge to stay up that late with early morning puppy and work schedules, but still. Heaven.

In other news, we are still unpacking little by little. It is just taking forever and I don't know why...oh...riiiight...I went on a whirlwind trip to CA last weekend for my brother's HS graduation. Yeah. That kind of tuckered me out. I just can't stop feeling exhausted and yet I don't want to stop moving for one minute because I want to be unpacked already. Pickle goes on her family reunion trip this weekend so there will be plenty of time for me to attempt to do it all. Oh yeah, those waffles in the picture are from my sister. One of the perks of living in the apartment above is that extra food can come my way very easily now...

What was I thinking?

Moving. Planning a shower. With a puppy who is learning how to use "her voice." A 5 am wakeup-call morning. Oh, and the person I cover for at work is on vacation. For 7 days. Across 3 weeks. I love this.

the greatest invention right now

(aka one of the perks of work)

This is simply brilliant. Seriously, I live off of Diet Coke anyway, so why not throw in some vitamins! Perfection! Also perfection that this drag of a company I work for supplies us with their client's latest and greatest products.

Although I had a mini break-down last night, I am feeling much better today. I held back tears all day for some reason and when I got home, I exploded within 10 minutes of arrival. I just couldn't stop. crying. I hate that shit because I know it is hormones. Yes, I did a lot of research on nursing schools yesterday and yes, the pre-reqs are overwhelming, but it is feasible and that whole idea in itself, being feasible, that is, is scary as well. All of that lead to me exclaiming that I hates my job as I rolled on the floor with the pug biting my hair. I don't think I hate it. After all, hate is a very strong of a word. ;) I think I exaggerated in my extreme emotional state. Nah, me? Really? And now today things are better. I am trying to take up my time with positive, free, things that make me happy and/or distracted. So far, Wednesday's routine is busier in general so I think it will be a better day. We'll see. Free gin & tonics rushed after work so that we can get home to the little beast, but we can't pass them up. They are in an awesome bar right near Jess-ter's work, and are FREEEE!

Content

I was trying to compose a blog post in my head for the last two days. I had some really good ideas and for some reason, they have just slipped away due to the intimidation of coming back from a mini-break.

Life has been busy, but I am so happy, I don't mind. We are getting ready to move into the top of my 6-month pregnant sister's (hooray! I'm going to have a nephew!) building at the end of this month (hopefully) and Olive the pug has kept our hands full! Raising a puppy is obviously harder than I expected, but now that we have it down, there just isn't any time for much else than taking care of her and keeping her occupied.

Last night, Pickle said we are squares now and I decided that I liked being a square and in fact, did NOT want to go to the Brooklyn H!p h0p festival. I wouldn't feel cool enough, but I was okay with that. I am happy where I am with a great girlfriend/partner/best-friend, our nice little apartment (and bigger, future one), our pug puppy(Sometimes I really can't believe I finally have one!), and a mostly decent job that pays enough to support myself and pup. The job is certaintly trying at times since there are too many "personalities" here to work with and I get frusterated that this is not where I pictured myself. I am trying to make the best of it for now so that I can establish myself first and then find my dream job. I am thinking of moving within the company to the print side and hopefully working my way around to a creative side but for now its commercial scheduling. I don't really know what the Print department does at my company, but I will find out and I'm sure it would be more ideal. I am also still thinking of nursing school in 2-3 years and one of my much older co-workers told me yesterday to "get out and be a nurse!"

Things are good.