I feel like a dork

This morning I got dressed and thought I looked quite nice. Black tailored skirt, short-sleeved white button-up, black peep-toe low heels. Walking down the street I got more looks than usual with my professional/porn secretary look since I was wearing a black skirt that stops just above my knees with heels. That wasn't so bad. Once I got to work I instantly regretted my fashion decision as soon as I first went to the bathroom. The floor that I am on has an overwhelming number of young employees for G*****l M****s and they all wear their flowy skirts, tanks, and platforms. I look like a freak compared to them. I am in a position where no clients or any important people see me and so I very well could wear my nice designer jeans everyday, but I dress for work so that I look older and hopefully get treated with more respect. Maybe I should stop this and wear whatever is the trendiest in my closet so I don't feel so dorky every time I go to the bathroom!! I just got a glance as I was tucking my shirt into my skirt a bit further after washing my hands from someone who isn't that much older than me (although she was wearing something that looked like it was meant for 16 year old Urban Outfitters girls.) Hmph. I can't beat em and I can't join em.

To top it off, I have to participate in mandatory company bonding tomorrow at some amusement park/Playland where "Color Wars" will be taking place. This is a mandatory event unless you can claim skin cancer like my older co-workers. We are assigned a color and our team competes against the other colors in things like Tug of War, lip synching, beer pong, etc. Yes, the good part is that we get beer and free tickets for the rides. Ordinarily, I would love an event like this...

If it was at Smith.
If I knew anyone my age.
If I didn't feel intimidated by the coolness of my similarly aged co-workers.
Basically, if I had friends.

Seriously, I love the log ride more than most, but who am I going to stand in line with and go on it with?!? Probably, some creepy guy if I am lucky enough to get anyone to talk to me. Creepy guy #1 who asked my across-the-cube friend if she could set him up with me doesn't get to go because he is technically not part of my company, thank god. None of the G*****M.** (whatever, no one reads this blog...) had their "Color War" tee-shirts on their desks so I think I am safe. He already avoids eye-contact or pleasantries like good-morning now that he knows I'm a gay lady.

Oh, yeah, the tee-shirts. A lovely white with our company logo and some stupid saying on the back with the only team indicator being the colored bands on the neck and arms (in my case, beautiful kelly green). In a size men's LARGE! I can't even cut that and sew it to fit or alter it to make it any cuter since I have to keep the sleeves that go past my elbows in tact. I will work on it more this evening. I'm sure I can come up with something creative. Perhaps reattaching the sleeve band? Anyway, now we will have to prepare for ridiculous heat and lots of sunscreen with a chance of thunderstorms. Awesome. Basically, they told us to bring a swimsuit, flipflops, AND sneakers. Am I supposed to bring my wheely suitcase?!? AND bring it on the log ride?!?!

Maybe I will make some friends. I have one person in my department that is on my team and hopefully the other across-the-cube friend will be nice to me and ride the log ride. She is the next youngest in our department...30. I think she might have her own friends, though. I hope I don't have to do anything too embarrassing...we'll see...

Oh, to top that off, I just got an email from my team captain, Mr. Jock.
"Question: What has two thumbs and is ready to rock color war?
Answer: This Guy!!!"

NO.