the worst part

Right now something Terrible is happening to my sister. In addition to all of my emotions I have had since yesterday, I forgot to mention the other terrible thing.

Saturday night I dreamt that my sister lost the baby in some sort of abortion-like way. Creepy. Except in the dream the baby was full sized and we had to hold it and mourn for it as if it was born. That's why I called to see my sister for brunch--to make sure she was OK. Of course, at brunch she was great. I didn't tell her about my dream at brunch because, well, at the time it just wouldn't have been nice. But, wow, scary timing. Maybe I'm a little bit psychic. Or not and it wasn't anything. I just thought I'd let that one off my chest. What if in some fucked up interconnected way, my dream did it? Killed the baby. I'm being ridiculous, sure, since I couldn't possibly have that much power, but it just makes me feel yucky.

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In other news, I bust another pair of pants this morning. Funny, huh? Right at the seam by the zipper. I put on another and they were still too snug. I finally found a pair that fit and even then they seem to be pulling and having those wrinkles across the hips that my mother used to always tell me that meant something was too small there. They feel fine, though, and Pickle told me they didn't look bad. I am going to do cardio when we get back from our vacation because apparently, if you do cardio the fat goes away in the spots that it recently appeared. And because my fat is so little, it should go away with exercise and I will not suddenly have a new body-type.

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Back to listening to sad songs and thinking of the drinks I am going to have when I get home. Also, the drinks I will bring my sister. I have been brainstorming presents to bring her and since she probably won't read this until much later I thought of things that she couldn't have if she was pregnant: alcohol (obviously an essential present), soft cheese, and caffeine. (I was planning on stealing a Diet C*oke from work since we have so freakin' many...one with caffeine, not the type they usually keep in their fridge.) I also thought of cigarettes, but I think she already has that covered and I just don't have the self-control to buy them and not smoke them as a FORMER SMOKER. (Just keep thinking "Even a puff will set me back. I worked so hard to do this. Remember how terrible the whole quitting ordeal was? You don't want to do that all again.)

Luckily, after our anniversary celebration and in light of the bad news last night, we went to the Broadway discount liquor warehouse near Astor Place (it was on the way to the subway!) and bought the biggest bottle of skyy vodka I have ever seen. I didn't even know they made this size. I thought they only got to the normal size. But oh no, they make handles (essentially, since I don't know how else to refer to it other than how the college kids call the plastic jugs) of the stuff. And boy oh boy was it a good deal.