something's missing

I wish I had a friend with whom I would meet for coffee and a baked good every once in a while to "catch up."

I would indulge in spending money for such an event, if it were possible, but it isn't. All of my current friends have either not been around long enough to know me that well and/or are friends with me because they are friends with Pickle, and we come as a package. The other friends, who know me and who I need to catch up with are not close enough, geographically, for this to be possible.

I don't keep up with my college friends. I have anxiety that makes me feel like I have to "prepare" to talk to them. I shouldn't have to prepare to talk! It is hard to keep up friendships by way of phone only. Only 2 have ever tried calling me. I haven't tried to call anyone else besides them, either though because of laziness and this anxiety. I can only call one now since the other has sort of dropped me/disappeared onto a farm. Keeping up communication with this one friend is difficult for a variety of reasons and she is the one who I feel I have to prepare the most to talk to. She still lives at home. She doesn't 100% support/approve of my relationship with Pickle. She doesn't have a full-time job/career. She doesn't really get my life right now. I think I need some new friends. Any takers?