this is only the beginning

Apparently, I messed up at work once again. The only time I seem to mess up here is whenever the person that I cover for is out and some vague, "how was I supposed to know?" little thing comes up and I act on intuition or what I usually do and go ahead and cause the company money. Yes. She had to mention money when she told me what I did wrong...boo.

Last night at a birthday dinner for my brother-in-law, his mom asked me lots of questions about my job and I really couldn't say anything good about it, but that shouldn't mean I'm not happy. Work is work was my response, and I try so hard to remember that every day. It is hard because I feel like my family and those around me had such high expectations of me finding the job right after graduating and therefore I have disappointed myself in not getting something that is exactly what I want to be doing right now. I just want to do this for a little while and have everyone shut up about it. I really, honestly, don't know what to say when I am asked how work is. "Eh." is all I have to say and really feel about the matter. Surviving here and breaking myself free from so many habits and routines is good for me. I can still be fine. I don't need to excel at how I am able to house and feed myself with an average lifestyle. I am just fine being average. Someday I will figure out exactly what I want and go for it, but for right now I just need to settle in.

On another note, I hate how the French Vanilla coffee at work is exponentially lighter than French Roast is. Just because its flavored coffee doesn't mean it should be weak coffee!