Lauren Bl*tzer. I have chosen not to include her full name because I don't know if I have the balls to have this post come up when they search for her, but I really would like to voice my anger and frustrations somewhere, so, hello, Blog!Backstory:
I first heard of the book Same Sex and the City: So Your Prince Charming is Really a Cinderella last summer upon moving to Brooklyn. I was so excited about this, from the title alone. I thought it would be a new, refreshing take on lesbian life in NY. I read more about it and I was pumped to read this book. The more I read about it, the more perfect for me it seemed--seven jeans, heels, ketel one and more! Basically, these 2 co-authors interviewed (young) women in NYC about their various "defining" lesbian experiences, with a lot of them centered around lesbians who may not appear to be. Women who don't hold the stereotype...ME! I am the girly girl who no one would think was ever gay, but deep down inside I'm as gay as they come!
So, I hunt down the book. I get it the first week it comes out. I read it. I'm unimpressed. There were typos! Multiple! What, the lezzies couldn't get a decent editor for this right place, right time type of book?!?!
It was mostly for women who are questioning. Coming out the closet just doesn't seem like a big deal to me anymore, no matter how you look. Sure, it may come as a shock or surprise, but in this day and age, specifically in NYC, a whole book about coming out just seems unnecessary. I love me some good Chick Lit, name/designer dropping included, but this only took those fluffy parts and put them on top of "so you think you're a lesbian?" genre. I was happy to have such a book created and maybe it would have been helpful when I was 16 and with a boy, but after Smith, let's just say things changed.
A couple of weeks later, I find out that one of my (then) favorite bars, Cattysh@ck (aka the lesbian mecca of Brooklyn, in the heart of park slope) was having a book signing with these two girls. There might have even been a drink or food deal included, so of course Jess-ter and I went. I went up to the table of the books they were selling and asked if I could get my book signed.
"The authors aren't here yet."
Um, okay. No problem chilling out at this bar in the middle of a summer Sunday afternoon. I checked later, and the girl at the table, (annoyed that I brought my own copy that I purchased for 14.95 and not $16 as they were selling them for) said, "oh, I think Lauren B is over there." On the patio was the petite 25 year old in ugly shorts surrounded by people. Literally, encircling her. My first problem was the patio. I had just quit smoking in April (Psss....my one year anniversary without cigs is coming up...) and the patio at Catty is always swarming with smoking lesbians. Did you know that GLBT people are 50% more likely to smoke than their straight counterparts?!? Yeah, random fact. Moving on.
I am a shy girl upon first approach. I warm up later. I didn't want to approach this author when she had all these friends around her that seemed to be there just to hang out and not support their friend's book. So I squeamishly head to the patio, book in hand, by myself, and ask her to sign my book. They all look at me like I have 3 heads. Seriously. They had their beers and their burgers and were having a nice Sunday. Stupid little girl for interrupting...was what they probably were thinking since I look about 12. So she signs my book and is kind of put off that she has to put her beer down. She offers me a burger, I say no thanks, and we leave.
I was annoyed. I didn't like the book all that much to begin with and now I look like a poor lost little lesbian that needs this book to guide her through life as a femme in NY. Blegh! I had spent summers with my sister in Brooklyn, even the last one where I was going to Cattysh@ck under age. When they had first opened. When they first opened around the corner from my sisters apartment. Literally, their backyards touch and from the patio you can see this bar. I have issues with this place. I like to say I went before they were so popular and pretentious. It really was different in the summer of '05...
Fast forward to a couple of months ago. A great site, After Ellen, suddenly hires this one time TeenVogue sales assistant (??? she wasn't even in the editorial side...) to be on their little you-tube-like talk show. They produce an episode a week with a different guest visiting the small panel of popular "expert" lesbians. I immediately hate this feature mostly because I can't watch videos at work. (I can read all the blogs I want though!)
And then Monday happened. They had a new article called "New York Scene: Welcome to the Big Apple." written by my favorite young New York lesbian...My girlfriend jumped in to comment on how utterly ridiculous the celebrity name dropping article was. And she did so quite articulately, I must say. People on this website immediately started battling over the fact that not everything has to be so serious all the time...blah blah blah. I love my gossip, my fashion, and my smut, but this was written badly and did not even have a point. Well, the only point I got out of the article was this, summed up by the author herself:
"I had no idea how many strong, successful gay women there are in New York City."
WHAAA???? Seriously?
Listen, I know you may be new to the lesbian scene and all, but if you have grown up in NYC you should have some sort of clue that this place has people of all types flourishing in the diversity and gaining, yes, SUCCESS. I consider myself one of those strong, successful gay women in New York City, thankyouverymuch.
6 comments:
That is absolutely brutal! Don’t authors know that when they write a book that people are going to ask them to sign it? If she wanted to shoot the shit on a patio, why didn’t she just do that at home?! Basically, if you put something into the public domain like a book, you’re going to have strangers who want to talk to you. I don’t get how she can have such a sense of entitlement when first of all, she’s kind of a c lister really, and second, if she’s having an event like that, she’d better be able to put down a friggin’ beer to sign the book that she wrote!
Also, what the hell is wrong with people assuming that any minority is incapable of being a success?! Who in their right mind would ask something like, “You’re a lesbian AND HAVE A JOB?! I DIDN’T THINK THAT THE GAYS COULD GET JOBS!” That’s such a pisser. A friend of mine is a lesbian and she has a degree and now is the Executive Director of the Gay and Lesbian Society in my city! At the end of the day, no matter who you go to bed with, it just seems insane that some of the population thinks that this would somehow affect anyone’s brain capacity, or ability to do a job!
Grrrrrrrrrrr.
when you are fit a certain stereotype (like..uh..lets say butch) it's hard to be seen on a Corporate America level. That's what she means by the success of Gays in her environment. Yeah, you will find butch/dykes/bois in successful GLBT environments but it is hardly seen in a corporate setting. I know it sounds harsh, but it's reality.
Hm...maybe try proof-reading next time?
Is corporate America really Lauren's environment?? As a writer/"celebrity" blogger? Really? Is that where her authority comes from? I don't think so.
Because I am in the corporate environment, conservative at that, and I see lesbians, butch or not, up and down Broadway and even in my huge office building which does not house any GLBT anything. If that is what she meant, it still does not hold much weight if you actually open your eyes and pay attention. \
L. is actually a friend of mine. And yes I should have proofread before I posted. I apologize.
Before she even started her book, she did work in an environment where women of a certain look dominated the environment. Corporate America is huge. Even if you worked in ad sales for a magazine, it is still considered corporate America, now writing for a website as a columnist – well I don’t know. It would be considered discrimination if corporations didn’t hire lesbians, but they still hold that bitterness. I am not putting down any queers here. Trust me. You are still judge by how you look in some cases. Sometimes it is all about fitting in with the company.
I remember going for interviews at some of the top magazine publications and having to deal with the stares and the “I can’t believe she is even trying to work here” type of judgments. It was hard as I imagine it is hard for anyone to be in that sort of field. It is just very intimidating. That’s all. I don’t look gay, or at least I think I don’t, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking about these pessimistic ideas.
Now, I work for a big magazine, which by any means does not discriminate against anyone. I was lucky.
I am as proud and out as you seem to be and without a doubt, I have that “people judge no matter what” thing in the back of my head. I hate it. I’ll admit.
I do apologize if I sounded like a hypocrite in the beginning, but Lauren is my friend, and she worked really hard to be where she is now. You may not like her book – that’s fine but don’t think you know her just by her writing. And by the way, Hate is very strong word.
Erm...I came across your blog through Lmizzle...just had a quick read. I have absolutely no idea what it's like being a lesbian so I can't offer any "insights" on this book. Sorry.
Just thought that you wrote was both interesting and written well.
I think I'll be popping back!
Just thought that WHAT you wrote was both interesting and WELL WRITTEN.
Shit, and I'm supposed to be English.
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